


We're all mad here

by jvngfs



Category: Infinite (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-13
Updated: 2015-11-13
Packaged: 2018-05-01 11:18:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5203814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jvngfs/pseuds/jvngfs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Myungsoo and Sungyeol always said they would enlist together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We're all mad here

**Author's Note:**

> This is really angsty. Mentions of sasaengs fans. This work is purely fictional.

They always said they would enlist together. It started years ago when they weren't Infinite yet but just Myungsoo and Sungyeol and they promised each other that when the time would come they would go to the army together because it was always like that back then; just the the two of them. Already when they were trainees and they hated each other to the point of fighting, it was just the two of them and no one else that mattered. Myungsoo couldn't take his eyes off Sungyeol and Sungyeol hated Myungsoo as much as he craved for him. 

And then they became celebrities and it got hard to be together again because of the fans, because of the fame, because of Sunggyu always telling them to behave. They lost themselves in the rush of events and concerts and TV shows. They became best friends for the medias, they became Infinite. They could rely on each other when it was too hard and when Myungsoo couldn't take the pressure, he would press himself next to Sungyeol and they would put up with things like that. 

-

When the day comes for them to enlist, they hold a huge fanmeet and bid their goodbyes, tearing up and complaining that they will miss all this. The truth is, they will miss their lives and their bandmates for sure but they will finally have a few months away from the success and the constant eyes on them. Just the two of them. A few months in a lifetime.

Sunggyu who returned already two years ago from the army tells them to be strong, that it won't be that hard and to come back safely. The rest pat them on the back, hug them tight and ask them to call often and just like that they're gone.

-

The military base is well-hidden, out of the civilization and full of soldiers who never heard about Infinite. They get their heads shaved roughly the first day but none of them complain. There's no one to mock them or to comment on their looks here. They can look terrible, unshaved, bald and make up less and it's still okay.

It's hard at first, all the training and the righteous discipline, especially considering that years of dancing and lack of sleep weakened their bodies but they do their best. "You can do it," Sungyeol whispers to Myungsoo as he's about to complete another serie of ten push ups after messing up the orders. They can do it because push ups in the dirt are better than endless dance and singing practices.

They ask each other if they're okay when it's late at night and they're too tired to even move, wrapped in scratchy blankets under the green tent. And they're okay, they're better than how they've ever been because they spend all their days together, they eat well and they can talk all they want. Here, there's no more dieting pills to take that made their head dizzy and their palms clammy. Here it's all about them merging into the crowd.

They talk a lot, carelessly and endlessly and it's nothing like the small chats they could share in the van between two events or the hurried hugs they had before Myungsoo would leave for another drama shooting. Here, they have nowhere else to be and even if it's exhausting and everything, it still feels better. It feels safer.

-

They stop by a river one time for lunch, as they're on another hike, putting their heavy bags and guns on the ground to eat and they all end up in the water, splashing each other and playing around. Myungsoo can't remember the last time they laughed so mindlessly and with such carelessness. Back in their idol lives, they can't do such things, too scared to be caught by paparazzi and they don't have time to go anywhere else than where their schedules lead them anyway. They visited tons of country and places but can't remember any because the hotels rooms and concert stages all look the same. But here they're with people who treat them equally and they don't have to hide anything of their personallities; they can be regular citizens.

-

They get their first day off after three months and Sunggyu comes to pick them up. Woohyun and Dongwoo are here too. Hoya and Sungjong have schedules, Sunggyu informs them. They always have schedules. They go eat in a small restaurant not too far from the camp but even there, some fans snap pictures of them, giggling at their uniforms and trying not to be obvious. Unfortunately they are but they are used to it. They are used to ignore them and to pretend they aren't careful because of them and are sharing a casual moment when they aren't, when they have to act as Infinite L and Sungyeol because of it.

"How is it going?," Sunggyu waits for dessert before he asks. Before that, he had been telling them about their schedules and contracts and all the things they will have to do once they're released. Myungsoo has been pretending to listen and Sungyeol kept squeezing his knee under the table. 

Sungyeol shrugs. "It's fine, a bit exhausting and all but fine." Sunggyu looks like he heard what he wanted and then they chit-chat for the rest of the time. Sunggyu must know because Sunggyu knows everything about his members and because Sunggyu is a lonely person too. He knows what it feels like to receive tons of love and to end up crawled up on an hotel's room bed two hours later and to feel lonelier than ever. He can tell what Sungyeol and Myungsoo have been through but he also knows he can't do anything about it so he just asks if it's okay, if they can hang on a bit longer.

Once they're back at the base and the gates close before the fans following them, it feels like they're breathing again.

-

They just came out of the shower and for once it feels good. They aren't rushed or sleep deprived, or even if they are it's nothing compared to what they've put up with before. They set up in their dorm for the night and even if the beds are hard and cold all over, it's better than the two hours sleep they could catch in their car everyday back when they were promoting.

They usually don't share a room just the two of them but today they're at a different base and the dorm assignment is different. Sungyeol has wrapped his arms around Myungsoo and none of them dare to say it but they're thinking about it; about not wanting to go back when it ends.

Here, they don't care about fans' screams and obsessiveness anymore. They can go to the supermarket and buy snacks without a mask and their manager. Sure, they're working hard, sometimes working out in the dust or till late at night but they're together and they feel like regular persons for the first time in a while.

Sungyeol kisses Myungsoo's nape and his hand creeps out under his t-shirt to stroke his waist and Myungsoo gasps softly. Even here, it feels as if they're doing something forbidden, that they should hide it out but it has always been that way; the stolen kisses behind closed doors in their dorm, the sinful touches in their hotel room while on tour. The other members probably suspect something already. They probably know by now but they never said anything, never dared to put words on it as it would have made it real. It can't be real because they're celebrities and they can't date, they can't love men either. The members must be thankful that they hid it so well for the past years, that they didn't put Infinite after themselves.

It has became an habit now, a comfortable way of doing things; hidden, without much sounds but just pressing immensely closely against each other until it's too much. It is what they're doing now; Sungyeol bending Myungsoo's legs and burying his mouth in his neck to cover his moans. Myungsoo does the same, digging his nails in his biceps and dragging the blankets all over their bodies as to cover up what they're about to do.

-

It's been one year now and Myungsoo's hair are starting to grow again, curly and moving around freely. Sungyeol hasn't seen him like this since they first met in November when he showed up at the practice room, quiet and clumsy, and even like this, he still looks beautiful. They lost weight too but developed muscles and for the first time Sungyeol doesn't care about how his body looks like. No one's here to judge him beside Myungsoo but Myungsoo has seen him skinny and fat, with or without make up and never said Sungyeol was lacking. They can be human-being here and they love each other the best when they're bare and honest, when there aren't any L's cosplay or Sungyeol's dumb image.

 

They know they're racing against time, that it won't be long until they'll have to go back to reality, before Myungsoo will have to straighten his hair again and they will have to go back on diet. They want to enjoy it. They want to etch the images and memories in their head because they're way too aware that they won't taste any other bits of freedom before years.

-

They get released on a Monday and reporters are already waiting when they step off the car. Stylists and managers have already taken care of their make up and hair as soon as they left the camp and they're back to being L and Sungyeol. Fans are screaming and the flashes blind them for a few seconds. They ask the other members to say a few words of congratulations, tell them to salute for the pictures, want to know which girl groups they watched the most on TV during their enlistment and then it's done. 

They get back on the car the manager tells them that Myungsoo already got casted for an upcoming drama and Sungyeol has joined a variety show. They're going to come back as a whole in a few months and they need to get back to dance and singing practices. 

Sungyeol's hand comes to rest on Myungsoo's thigh where the flesh is soft and tender as to tell him to be strong, that it will be okay, that they made things work out for years already and can do it for the years to come.


End file.
